This HBR article by Joel Garfinkle has some good ideas about how to have those conversations you are probably avoiding despite the fact that you know they need to happen. I would add two points:
- Remember that feedback, which is what you are providing when you tell someone about the issues you are having with them, is a gift. We all need more feedback as we tend to get very little constructive feedback in our workplaces.
- Although Joel suggests not planning your words, I would always recommend creating a "Constructive Feedback Statement" based on the formula:
- I feel... (fill in this blank by explain how what the person did/does makes you feel)
- when you... (explain SPECIFICALLY what they did)
- because... (explain the affect of their behaviour on you, your team or the project)
- would you please...(ask for a new behaviour and be specific about what that would look like)
- What do you think? (this is where the conversation becomes a two way dialogue and moves the relationship forward)
Here is a link to the article...
Try giving the gift of feedback soon!